(heaton/rotheray) with a face like a crab\'s bus ticket and skin like a llama\'s door mat he was always gonna struggle nature had seen to that
he dreamt of those old-fashioned movies where bogart gets the dame but a lorry load of lorre is still the score of pain
and he sings i may be ugly but i\'ve got the bottle-opener he may be fat but he\'s got the cork-screw and in the party party politics of this ugly fame there is no orderly queue
with a chin like a tramp\'s juke-box and eyes like a rhino\'s ash-tray it was always going to be pantomime that made him sing and dance anyway
when you feel like london and you look like hull you think travolta pulled newton - john who did john hurt pull?
and they compliment the compliment and it\'s driving you insane it\'s like talking to a helicopter when you know that you\'re a plane
breath like a mountain goat\'s satchel nose like a pool of sick but you always leave your flies ahoy \'cause the world wants to suck your dick let it suck!
and he sings i may be ugly but i\'ve got the bottle-opener he may be fat but he\'s got the cork-screw and in the party party politics of this ugly fame there is no orderly queue
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