if i was your tv i\'d be like "look at me"
if i was a shooting star i\'d be like "peace!"
if i was a fat bitches thong i\'d be like "hell naw!\'
if i was a hotties thong i\'d be like "awwww..."
if i was a cuss word i\'d just be like "fuck"
if i was a rock on the moon i\'d be chillin\' like "sup?"
if i was a butthole i\'d just be an exit
if i was the d.o.c. i\'d be like "man this is bullshit"
if i was the tires on your car i\'d be like "neeeaaawww"
if i was the bumper on your car i\'d be like "aww fuck"
if i was a balloon i\'d be like "pap"
if i was allysa milano i\'d be fucking joe bruce
if i was a radio dj i\'d probably say "the point 103"
if i was a richy ass bitch i\'d be like "umm...ok"
if i was spin magazine i\'d put me on the cover and be like "fuck us! and
i won\'t read this, even us motherfucker!"
if i was your mental stress i\'d be catching up
if i was your headaches every now and then i\'d be like "thonnnkk!!"
if i was your tongue i\'d be hating your teeth i\'d be like "man why do
you try to bite me every time we try to eat?"
if i was a chair i\'d be like "sit here"
if i was kid rock i\'d cut my feathered wolf hair
if i was your muffler i\'d be like "shhh, quietly"
if i was a price tag i\'d be like "you ain\'t buying me"
if i was a fresh ass dj i\'d be like [records scratch]
if i was jam master j i\'d be like [records scratch]
if i was a cheap clock radio i\'d be like [static]
"tune that motherfucker in"
if i was barry white i\'d be like "what up y\'all?"
if i was nipple in the cold i\'d be like "boing"
if i was your dead uncle i\'d be like "....."
if i was a raindrop i\'d just be like "drip"
and if i had an ax to your neck i might say "chop!"
[chorus]
if i was, if i was, but i\'ll never be
if i was, if i was, but i\'ll never be
if i was, if i was, but i\'ll never be
if i was, if i was, but i\'ll never be
if i was, if i was, but you\'re killing me
if i was, if i was. but you\'re killing me
if i was a faygo at one of our shows, i\'d fly through the air into and
ocean of juggalos
if i was andre the giant "this is how i\'d be talking"
if i was father mc i\'d be like "now what happened?"
if i was a mirror, i\'d find another mirror
and look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear
if i was a slider i\'d slide out your butt
i\'d be floatin\' in your toilet lookin\' at you like "what?"
if i was a pilot i\'d be like "this is air traffic control"
if i was john denver i\'d be like "nooooooo!!!!"
if i was a switch i\'d be like "flick me, yoo-hoo"
if i was a london cop car i\'d be like "wee-oop wee-oop"
if i was chewbacca i\'d get a fresh ass fade
if i was vanilla ice i\'d be like "fuck y\'all. i\'m still paid"
if i was a stop sign i\'d just be like "stop"
if i was your wooden leg i\'d still be giving you the hip-hop
[chorus} |
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