in the hollow of your arms, snuggled up all safe and warn, you used to tell me tales of unicorns and kings. but how could i comprehend all the things you told me then of your madness and your struggling?
and my mind would swim in fantasies, like a piece of driftwood in the sea. i had no touchstone for reality. you were my reality.
like a dark and unlit room or the far side of the moon, your insanity spoke emptiness and fear. and no matter how i tried, how i questioned and i pried, i just could not penetrate that thin veneer.
and i know you tried to comfort me, to soothe and reassure me. but then your strength would always fail and in it\'s place a silken veil.
like a dried and wrinkled prune, a deflated toy balloon, i cam home and found you strewn across the floor. and as they lay you on your bed i heard you say, "if i a dead, how come it just keeps on hurting more and more?"
and you left me in the early spring. all they said was, "mommy\'s resting." and how was i to know, so young, it wasn\'t something i had done?
so please try and understand, i will love you as i can. i do not blame you; you\'re not guilty. but still there\'s no way to describe the relief i finally found upon learning it was you, and not me, that was crazy.
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