camille west - the nervous wreck of edna fitzgerald
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we sailed away from huntington bay
and the waters were calm as could be-oh
on our new cabin cruiser, the first time we used her
\'twas just the family and me-oh
and my husband stood proud in his new captain\'s hat
using words like ahoy there and- crap like that
so we took the kid and cleo our cat
and set outt o conquer the sea-oh
everyone loved it but clee-oh
and it\'s yo ho over the seas
the salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze
pass me a bottle of perrier please
this is the life for me
the tranquility three miles out to sea
suddenly came to an end-oh
when the kid started saying "no way am i staying
i\'d rather be playing nintendo-oh"
and the captain cried "ho there, you little snot,
i paid fifty grand for this family yacht
you\'re going to enjoy yourself, like it or not
so you\'d better learn how to pretend-oh"
(we all caught the man\'s innuendo-oh)
and it\'s yo ho over the seas
the salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze
pass me a bottle of dramamine please
this is the life for me
my husband the captain was checking the charts
while the cruiser was burning up fu-el
and the kid threw the cat in, trolling for sharks
he called it a project for school-el
i reached down to pull the cat in by the tail
when i smelled what i held my complexion went pale
that\'s when i lost my lunch over the rail
the kid thought the whole thing was coo-el
mama was not feeling too-well
and it\'s yo ho over the seas
the salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze
pass me a bottle of valium please
is this the life for me?
we ran out of fuel by mid-afternoon
and the clouds were moving in fast-er
and the captain did say, "there\'s no more perrier"
which made it a total disast-er.
with hardly a warning it started to pour
and we drifted \'til we reached the new jersey shore
(never thought i\'d be glad to see jersey before)
we started drifting in fast-er,
tried to steer the ship, but we crashed her
no more yo ho over the seas
the salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze
pass me a bottle of cyanide please
this is no life for me.
i\'m back in my condo, the cruiser\'s a wreck
my husband is spending the insurance check
on something for dry land or i\'ll break his neck
\'cause this is the life for me
yo ho
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