the heaviness of my heart seems a burden to me - whatever they preach i have to look for people like me ans so i have to join the wrong unmindful of virtue i am eggier for the pleasure of love more than for salvation - i am seized by desire but i have to keep the darkness night hidden in the depth of my heart - it\'s the most bitter fate - fate is against me in love and virtue i am heartened by my promise i am downcast by my refusal there is nothing i need from anyone expect love and respect and anyone who can\'t give me those two things has no place in my life be sure before i\'ll finish - i intend to celebrate this hell i am involved in
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