i pulled into memphis, i could not slow down my brakes were gone, i wrecked the car...fire on the ground then my car exploded and the flames licked my chin and my life flashed before my eyes like an x-rated film like a poison arrow my soul shot through the sky landed there at heaven\'s gate, much to my surprise and an angel with a halo walked up and said, "hey, dude! welcome to heaven...we\'ve got this glass of milk for you." (chorus) i said, "hey st. peter, won\'t you open up your gate... i hear the devil calling, now please don\'t make me late. he\'s got loud guitars, alcohol, cheap jamaican whores... i don\'t want to stay in heaven no more."
well, satan came a-running, said, "hey, that boy is mine!" he had a john hiatt t-shirt and trouble in his eye then the devil on cloud 7 and st. peter on cloud 4 played a hand of poker, and the winner gets my soul
chorus
well the last thing i remember, satan held two jacks and i woke up in the back of a memphis ambulance and i do not know for certain which cards st. peter held so i\'m breaking all ten commandments to make sure i go to hell
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