performed by adam sandler and allen covert
richie: "so ya doin\' good?"
samantha: "ya, i\'m fine, how \'bout you?"
richie: "how good could i be? i haven\'t seen you in three hours."
samantha: "ohhh, richie. hey richie, my dad\'s down the hall, and he doesn\'t want me on the phone. so if i hang up on you, it\'s just because he\'s coming."
richie: "ok. so look, uh, do you wanna meet at the spring fling dance thi..."
[she hangs up phone]
[phone rings]
richie: "hello?"
samantha: "sorry, i thought he was coming."
richie: "that\'s ok. so, about the dance. do you wanna meet
samantha: "umm, well my brother gets the car on friday nights."
richie: "well that\'s ok, i\'ll come by and get you. lets say around..."
[she hangs up phone]
richie: "come on.."
[phone rings]
richie: "hey."
samantha: "sorry. i guess he was just going to the bathroom."
richie: "that\'s ok. well look, uh.. what was i saying? oh yeah, should i pick you up at like seven-thirty or maybe do you wanna go later when the dance is really kickin.."
[she hangs up the phone again]
richie: "give me a break..."
[phone rings]
richie: "hello."
samantha: "sorry. it was just my dog."
richie: "hey, what\'s your dad\'s problem anyways!? why can\'t we talk?"
samantha: "he just thinks i\'m on the phone too much. oh my god, uh, i gotta go."
richie: "don\'t hang up!"
samantha: "richie, i can\'t talk!"
richie: "no, i\'m sick of this! put your dad on the phone! i wanna talk to him."
samantha: "it\'s not my dad."
richie: "what? well, who\'s there? why can\'t you talk?"
samantha: "uh, just look richie, someone is here."
richie: "who\'s there? is it a guy!?"
samantha: "richie!"
richie: "i knew it! i\'ll kill him! put him on the phone!"
samantha: "oh.. it\'s just.. hold on."
[hands phone to guy]
richie: "hey man! what the hell are you doing there!? samantha\'s my girl!
you\'d better stay away from her or i\'ll make you wish you were never born!"
buffoon: "fuckin\' shit!"
richie: "yeah, fuckin\' shit is right buddy! don\'t think i\'m kidding around, man! i\'m crazy! i\'ll smash your head in! i swear to god!"
buffoon: "one time i saw my grandmother in the shower. her bush starts above her belly button."
richie: "yeah, well that\'s too bad! but i\'m still gonna come over there and beat your face in!"
[richie slams down phone]
samantha: "what happened? was he mad?"
buffoon: "my neighbor\'s dog has a four inch clit!"
samantha: "oh buffoon, you\'re the coolest." [whispering] "i love you..." |
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